I work with pregnant teen girls. I am their doula. When they go into labor I stay with them and help them to be comfortable and courageous. I do not get paid for my work. I do it because I honor these girls who have chosen the difficult path of motherhood instead of an abortion.
Today I had a doctor's appointment with a woman doctor. She asked me about my work and I said I am a writer, and I have a podcast, and I work with teen mothers. She asked about my writing and podcasting. I told her I am Catholic and that this is the Year of Mercy.
This woman said to me, "So, you are a doula to teens? Does the Catholic Church still forbid birth control pills?"
"Yes, it does," I said. "Birth control pills are not good for women. They can cause cancer and they can cause infertility."
"Infertility is good," said the doctor. I was stunned.
I said, "Infertility is NOT good." I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I felt angry. "My son and his wife are suffering from infertility, and it is very difficult and very, very grievous. They are heartbroken."
The doctor said, "Infertility worked for me," and walked out.
I could not wait to get out of there. I will never go back to that doctor, ever. She did not know how much I have suffered from my own infertility, and how my children now suffer. Her remark was insensitive and hurtful and WRONG.
Infertility is never good. It is always a burden, a grief, a loss, and most couples suffer quietly and privately. Our bodies are made for life, and our love is for giving - husband and wife, and children. When something goes wrong, when a couple cannot have children, it is a suffering, and a mystery. It is caused not by our Good God, but by the fact that we live in a world that is broken by sin. Sometimes our bodies do not work as they should. This is true for all kinds of physical problems. Suffering is not WILLED by God, but He does allow it. When He does, our job to to hope and pray, and to seek His will, not criticize.
When someone we know is suffering from infertility they need our support, our prayers, and our love. They do not need to be told that somehow this is a good thing for them. They don't need advice. They need kindness, understanding, and sensitivity.
Pray for all couples that are experiencing infertility.
Do you need prayer? Click HERE
Listen to MERCY UNWRAPPED HERE
I am a Catholic wife, mom and grandma. In 1995, after Bible college and a few years as an Evangelical Missionary, I was received into the Church at the Easter Vigil. These are my personal musings on Scripture, prayer, and living close to Jesus.