Jesus miraculously fed 5,000 men (and countless women and children) with only five loaves and two fishes. (St.Mark Ch. 6). The disciples had all seen and helped with this miracle. Afterwards Jesus needed some time to himself. He sent the disciples off fishing and went into the mountains to pray.
When Jesus came back to shore the lake had become stormy and the disciples were afraid their boat was going to be swamped. Suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water and they were terrified. The scripture says, almost sadly, "Their hearts were hardened."
Does "hardened" mean evil, or sinful? I don't think so. The disciples didn't choose to disbelieve. They reacted in a human way. I think the disciples were so scared and so focused on the MOMENT, that they forgot everything they had seen that day. They forgot that Jesus could turn a little bit of food into a feast with leftovers They forgot that he healed the blind and deaf and cured the sick. They forgot that He was the Son of God. So when they saw him walking on the water, they forgot WHO IT WAS that was coming toward them, and they feared they were seeing a ghost. Instead of another miracle (and they should have expected miracles by now) they saw something frightening. Instead of their beloved Lord, they saw something they could not wrap their heads around and it caused them fear.
I harden my heart whenever I am afraid. I forget all the blessings in my life, all the miracles I have seen, all the good and right paths the Lord has led me down. I think only "in the moment" and don't remember all the ways God has been merciful and kind to me all of my life. I forget his forgiveness. I forget his provision. I forget his comfort and love. Everything I know about God, about his tender care for me goes out the window when I am afraid. Fear is a hardening of the heart. Fear is a lie. Fear says, "God can't get me out of this one."
Let go of fear. Give it to Jesus. Let Him walk across the stormy water to YOU and bring comfort and assurance. Let Him calm the waters. Trust Him. Recall all the times you have been rescued before, stretch out your hand and let Jesus rescue you again.
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I am a Catholic wife, mom and grandma. In 1995, after Bible college and a few years as an Evangelical Missionary, I was received into the Church at the Easter Vigil. These are my personal musings on Scripture, prayer, and living close to Jesus.